


Snip Snip

by myeriefine



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Body Horror, Comfort, Intimacy, M/M, Medical Procedures, Mild Gore, Non-Sexual Intimacy, consensual body modification, icktimacy, nothing super descriptive but, or as a great man once said:
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-18 00:07:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16984371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myeriefine/pseuds/myeriefine
Summary: Joonmyun asks if it'll hurt- Seungwoo does everything he can to take the pain away.(Joonmyun's surgeon bf makes him look like myeonplaine because Joonmyun asks him to.)





	Snip Snip

It’s groundbreaking- the way the just a simple,  _ accidental _ drag of a fingernail over his skin could send such strong jolts of electricity coursing through his body and making him shake as if his soul had just left his body.

 

Seungwoo has always been professional- so clean and methodical in everything he did from work to simply folding tea towels in their living room. He stands tall and calm and commands the world to move around him with a gentle hand instead of the other way around, and from the moment Joonmyun had run into him in the hallway of some swanky country club, Joonmyun had known exactly what he wanted. Or well.  _ who _ he’d wanted. Nothing-  _ nothing _ could have ever predicted  _ this _ .

 

He hadn’t known Seungwoo’s profession right off the bat; the older man had waited until their first proper date over glasses of wine no one should be able to afford to tell Joonmyun what he does. A surgeon, he’d said, his eyes downcast and back straight, legs casually crossed over one another as he scanned the single page menu.  _ A surgeon. _

 

Joonmyun couldn’t stop his eyes from raking over the other man’s hands as they wrapped around the stem of his glass and rested under his chin, gentle, delicate, but oh so steady. Suddenly Joonmyun could not say the same about his own.

 

Their first fumbly meetings had been ages ago- or well, fumbly on Joonmyun’s part anyway. Even in his small acts of clumsiness Seungwoo has a steadiness and grace about him that Joonmyun always tried so so hard to emulate- a command to his actions- and normally, Joonmyun would try to match it, try to monitor his own face/hands/actions to assert his position too, to show that he was calm cool and collected too, but with Seungwoo, he didn’t need to. It was obvious who had the power here- who could overpower and be in charge of the situation more than just physically, and Joonmyun reveled in it. He could let his own shoulders sag and his own lips pout as he flopped his body against Seungwoo and asked to have his way.  _ Asked. _

 

He could let himself melt into the broad, steady steady hand as it pet through his hair or ran gently across his cheek, a fond fond smile on Seungwoo’s lips as he denied him and Joonmyun was  _ okay  _ with it. (It didn’t mean that Joonmyun didn’t put up a fuss- just simply meant that Joonmyun was  _ willing _ to accept no for an answer so long as it came from Seungwoo.)

 

It was in these moments of care, of tenderness, that Joonmyun noticed the way Seungwoo’s hands always created a particular line as they stoked down his face, the back of his knuckles gently brushing their way from just below his cheekbone to the corner of his mouth, his deep brown eyes often straying from Joonmyun’s own to watch the trail he created, his gaze veiled with something far away and fixating on something Joonmyun wasn’t sure was actually there.

 

Despite knowing Seungwoo’s profession, Joonmyun didn’t know what his boyfriend actually  _ did _ until many months later. It wasn’t the first (nor nearly the last) time Joonmyun had met Seungwoo at the hospital after his shift, a small bag of takeout dangling off his wrist as Seungwoo leaned down to kiss his forehead and give him that fond fond smile that made Joonmyun’s heart turn to mush in his chest. He’d heard small snippets of conversation when Seungwoo was on call or called for an emergency at work, slightly tinny voices buzzing from Seungwoo’s phone asking him questions about a procedure as they laid together in the dark, blankets just barely pulled up to Seungwoo’s bare shoulder as his low, steady voice answered all of them with ease. 

 

But never had Joonmyun seen Seungwoo’s work- not until that day. A fellow coworker- a doctor? Nurse? Other surgeon? came brushing by with apologies on their tongue as they held out photographs to Seungwoo and asked their questions. Joonmyun hadn’t known what they were- too distracted by the deep  _ deep _ lines  _ literally _ cutting through the nameless face displayed in the picture, sliced nearly from mouth to ear as if an extension of the seam between their lips- grotesque in nature but so  _ so _ cleanly done.

 

Seungwoo hadn’t even flinched at the picture- nor the other three that followed after it, the same clean, slightly curving lines on each face, only one stitched up neatly but still red around the incisions- the cuts a little more jagged than the rest. 

 

“It’s sloppy work,” Seungwoo had calmly said. He’d pointed a finger at the end of the cut on the left cheek, slowly dragging his fingertip up closer to the person’s ear and commenting that “it wasn’t even high enough.”  _ Wasn’t high  _ **_enough_ ** _.  _ “I understand that he’s still learning, but really, this is a shame. If he’s going to imitate my work, he should at least try to make the sides even.”

 

_ Seungwoo’s work. _

 

He’d sent them off with a smile, offered his arm to Joonmyun with a casual “shall we?” and led Joonmyun away as if nothing had happened.

 

But something  _ did _ happen.

 

Joonmyun had seen the procedure done before- seen a very  _ small _ number of people with bandages taped to their face, resting between jaw and cheekbone and covering scars that no one really blinked at anymore. Joonmyun himself had never paid them any mind, but after that day, something had changed. Some small, tiny drip of curiosity had made its way into Joonmyun’s head and had his eyes lingering on the raised red lines of the girl sitting across from him on the subway a month later, imagining Seungwoo’s steady steady hands carving their way into them with trained precision. It was, in some way, fascinating.

 

It was far from the last time Joonmyun thought about it either, no longer needing to physically see the lines for himself to imagine Seungwoo’s hands cutting them, imagining the way Seungwoo would stitch them up the same way he’d mended one of Joonmyun’s favorite shirts last September, flashing him a wink that had Joonmyun stuttering as he teased, “perks of dating a surgeon.”

 

Perks of dating a surgeon indeed.

 

He couldn’t help noticing, afterwards, the way the gentle sweep of Seungwoo’s hand across his cheek had gradually become a brush of just one or two fingertips along the same path every time, like a whisper of a curiosity Joonmyun had never known how to listen to before, but now- now he was listening.

 

_ “You have such a beautiful face Joonmyun.” _

 

It had almost become a game between the two of them after the first time Joonmyun gently parted his lips as Seungwoo’s fingertips moved down toward them and drew in a quiet breath, Seungwoo’s eyes sharpening from wistful to something much more intense as they met Joonmyun’s and held them there. His eyes asked questions that Seungwoo’s lips didn’t- not yet- and when it was clear Joonmyun wasn’t sure how to answer them, squinted into a smile before Seungwoo replaced his fingers with a kiss and whispered “goodnight joonmyun.”

 

The caresses became more pointed, more deliberate, and Joonmyun started asking questions about Seungwoo’s work- vague at first, but growing gradually more specific when he was curled up against Seungwoo’s side on the couch and half-assedly pretending not to read Seungwoo’s notes over his shoulder. He’d pout when Seungwoo gave him a vague answer to his equally vague question and gave more details the more Joonmyun asked.

 

_ What is it for? What do you do? How deep do they go? Does it hurt? _

 

They both knew it was a frivolous game- Seungwoo was far from stupid- but Joonmyun enjoyed their game of cat and mouse- he the tiny tiny mouse being gently pawed around by Seungwoo’s steady steady hands but free to go if he wanted to, the exit right there where he knew Seungwoo would not stop him from going, but would instead run right back toward the claws to nibble on them for attention when he felt they were not giving him enough.

 

Joonmyun had entire hoards of people that would bend to his will if he asked them too, but Seungwoo he was willing to do the bending for.

 

This full body shiver from just the edge of a fingernail sliding down his cheek would be the final nail in this game’s coffin. (Pun fully intended- Seungwoo would appreciate it, Joonmyun is sure.)

He did not miss the way Seungwoo’s eyes darkened and finally  _ finally _ joonmyun knew how to answer the questions lying there.

 

“Can you show me?” Joonmyun asks, voice just barely over a whisper after an endless stretch of silence. “Can you show me… how you do it?”

 

Seungwoo stares at him for a very, very long time, eyes searching and questioning and  _ soft _ but no less serious for it as he finally says in his low, beautiful voice. “Do you know what you are asking for Joonmyun?”

 

Joonmyun doesn’t even hesitate to breathe out a “ _ yes _ .”

 

They talk about it afterwards, of course. When the heat of the moment is gone and after they get the energy out of their systems, Seungwoo asks Joonmyun explicitly, more than once, if this is really what he wants. Joonmyun’s answer does not change.

 

He tells Joonmyun everything- lets him back out at any point and tells him that he can change his mind at any time until the point of no return, but with each answer Joonmyun gives, the more sure he is of what he wants.

 

Seungwoo plans everything on the downlow- off the books, off the records- something just for the two of them and no one else. Surely, people will see Joonmyun afterwards, but none of them will know what really happened, what truly went on that day, and that is how they want it to stay.

 

No one questions Seungwoo taking some of his own equipment home- almost question less Seungwoo taking other things here and there that he “needs for something” so long as it’s paired with his breezy confidence and reassuring smile, as Joonmyun knows it always is.

 

The setup is much less official than what Seungwoo would use at work, but no less carefully done because of it, and much more intimate. He wants nothing more than for Joonmyun to be safe and tells Joonmyun as much with a gentle touch to his cheek as Joonmyun sits down in the chair, his hand strong and reassuring as it cups the entire side of Joonmyun’s face and not just the faint purple dots Seungwoo had so so carefully penned onto it.

 

Joonmyun smiles as he leans into the touch, relishing in the warmth that lingers even after Seungwoo’s hand is gone.

 

His heartrate kicks up as he watches Seungwoo lay out all of his equipment on a little metal table, breath catches as Seungwoo rolls it toward him and the bitter tang of antiseptic hits his nose from the swabs Seungwoo carefully rubs against his cheeks. The fumes burn his eyes for a moment, but they are clear enough to notice that something seems… missing. from Seungwoo’s array of shiny tools.

 

“Don’t you… use a scalpel… for things like this?” Joonmyun asks, trying his best not to move his cheeks as Seungwoo gently tilts his head this way and that with gloved fingers to make sure his lines on both sides are even. He’s never seen Seungwoo work before, not on a real person, but he recognizes the detachment in Seungwoo’s eyes as he looks over his canvas the same way he’d looked at the shirt he’d mended- like it was a material to work with instead of a living breathing person. It vanishes the moment Seungwoo refocuses his gaze to Joonmyun’s eyes to answer his question, that beautiful warm smile quirking up one corner of his lips as he says “Scissors, actually. Sorry if it’s not what you expected.”

 

It isn’t, but that doesn’t stop the thrill that rushes through him when Seungwoo picks the tiny surgical scissors up and softly runs the tip of them over the same path his bare fingertips have been tracing out for months now.

 

“This is it Joonmyun,” he warns. “This is the point of no return. If you want to back out, now is your last chance.”

 

And for once, Joonmyun’s answer changes to “ _ no _ .”

 

Seungwoo lightly pulls Joonmyun toward him by the back of his neck _ (“lean forward my love- I don’t want you to choke”), _ and begins.

 

The next twenty minutes are nothing but shuddering gasps and Joonmyun’s iron grip on Seungwoo’s thigh, the crisp snip of scissors and Seungwoo’s ever gentle voice reminding him to “breathe Joonmyun, just breathe for me.” Everything is warm and hazy and melts together as kick after kick of adrenalin crash into him and all he knows is Seungwoo. The dull pressure of the older man’s fingers on his jaw and cheekbone are the only real things left- the only things that have him listening to Seungwoo’s far far far away instructions to  _ breathe _ . Every single breath shudders and breaks, but he does it, just as he’s told.

 

It drags on for hours but it seems like only flashes of a second until Seungwoo is softly petting the back of his head again, murmuring “It’s over Joonmyun. It’s over,” as he turns his little table around. Joonmyun doesn’t even notice the tear tracks running down his face until Seungwoo gently dabs them away, simultaneously applying more antiseptic before Joonmyun feels the first pinprick and the slide of something so foreign it sends another lightning bolt shiver through his body- but it doesn’t hurt.

 

“You’re doing amazing Joonmyun. Just have to get you all stitched up.”

 

He knows Seungwoo says more as he works- poke, in, slide, out, repeat- can hear the calm, reassuring drone of his voice and feel the wisps of breath against his face, but the words all slur together and are accented with a ringing Joonmyun can’t quite seem to pinpoint the source of.

 

(Pun maybe slightly less intended, but one that Seungwoo would in no way less appreciate. If the rumble of Seungwoo’s quiet laugh is anything to go by, maybe Joonmyun had even tried to say it out loud.

 

_ “Quiet now my love. Don’t pull.” _ )

 

In some way he’s sure would be labeled as twisted, Joonmyun feels like it’s over too soon. Before he even gets to blink his eyes, he’s waking up to their white popcorn ceiling and Seungwoo slowly carding his fingers through his hair, murmuring a soft “there you are” when Joonmyun gets his face into focus. 

 

As sensation slowly returns to his body, Joonmyun feels Seungwoo’s steady steady hand wrapped around one of his own and he gives it a weak squeeze that has Seungwoo’s face settling into the smile Joonmyun loves so much. He’s still shaking some of the fuzziness out of his head when he feels the fingers in his hair disappear and a small fraction of Seungwoo’s warmth disappear as he leans away, but it’s back before Joonmyun can even whine about it.

 

“Would you like to see?” Seungwoo asks softly, and when Joonmyun drops his gaze to Seungwoo’s hand he sees what he slowly pieces together to be a small hand mirror in his grasp.

 

Joonmyun nods, and the next thing he sees after Seungwoo’s smile is a reflection of his own face, lines cut nearly clean up to his ears and neatly stitched back together.

 

_ “You have such a beautiful face Joonmyun.” _

 

The last thing Joonmyun thinks before he closes his eyes once again, is that he can’t disagree.

**Author's Note:**

> i now realize i ended both of these pm the same way. written years apart. at least i'm consistent o/


End file.
